Raising a Perfect Kid: Should Grandparents be involved?

In today’s world, we as parents strive hard to portray a perfect world for our kids: a world in which, we as super-parents consciously attempt to be the best. We get so involved in this race for perfection, that the ultimate truth never crosses our mind. The truth is: we are not perfect; our parents were not perfect; our child won’t be perfect, as nothing on this earth can be announced as perfect.

So how do we deal with this situation?  Maybe a change in perception could help. If we picture our child to be the one:  with instilled family values and, empathy; resilient, self-aware, and creative; known for the character: we might win this crazy race for perfection. Maybe not in the eyes of our peers but, definitely our own.

The stress of earning, taking care of family, and not to mention social life, takes a toll on us, and our parenting styles.  We subconsciously ignore our health and family relations. The fact, that it’s perfectly normal to ask for help with parenting, makes us feel repressed; especially if the one we need help from our grandparents.

However, not everyone is blessed with in-laws and, parents who are willing to help with the upbringing of their grandkids. But, if you are, then after a self-reality check, think about all the benefits grandparents-grandchildren relationship can bring in.

Financial Support

Daycare in U.S.A is more expensive than sending a child to college. Kathleen Elkins, who covers personal finances for Business Insider explains in her article “In 23 states, it costs more to send your child to daycare than college”  how educating a preschooler may be pricier than sending a teenager to college. The total cost of daycare varies based on the state you live in, a number of kids that require care, and their age. You can get accurate data based on the State you live in on the EPI ( Economic Policy Institute) website.

With an option of having grandparents babysit your child, just do the Math of how you could save money annually, for your child’s college and, retirement.

Family Values

Every family has certain traditional and, cultural values that are passed down from the previous generation. A promise made to family members, of being there for each other when needed.  Due to the fast-paced life that we live, honestly, how much time, do we spend explaining these values to our future generation. Maybe little, or none in some cases.

Grandparents are storytellers. They are an excellent source of information, and expertise, when it comes to varied life experiences. Research in neuroscience reiterates the fact that storytelling stimulates inner learning. Louis Cozolino, an American psychologist, and professor of psychology claims brain is a social organ, and stories are critical to brain development and learning (Cozolino, 2014).

Empathy

In today’s STEAM world, we as parents do our best to teach our kids about, Science, Technology, Engineering, Art, and Math. Talk about the classes we enroll them in so that they learn the basis of all the STEM careers, there are. In the midst of all this, we don’t have time to teach simple, yet important social-emotional skills. Skills like having empathy for others and, integrity takes back place in our lives.

Just being with grandparents, children develop and learn these skills. They learn how to converse confidently with older people.  A skill required to be successful in the workplace, a skill required to intellectually converse with professors, and mentors.

Responsibility

We all want to teach our kids the importance of being responsible. We set rules and boundaries for them. Sometimes these rules are fair, and sometimes, we just don’t have time to listen to our kids to help them understand. Here grandparents play a vital role. With the number of years of life experience under their belt, they easily portray a broader perspective to any situation.

Grandparents due to their undivided attention, gain kid’s trust faster than us. This trust and relationship teach children responsibility, which comes by taking care of each other.

Remember you are the parent, and you can control any situation. If you think grandparents can be bossy, then set rules right from the beginning. Help grandparents, help you by educating them and, connecting them to American Grandparents Association (AGA). Grandparents are a wonderful resource of knowledge and love. Let’s learn to give them credit, they deserve.

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